Concerned with the negative publicity surrounding the use of
Value Added Models (VAMs)* for
teacher evaluation, the Grates Foundation, the Foundation for Excess in
Education, RheeFirst and other proponents of such models have decided to take a
new approach to promoting the controversial mathematical model. “People are
having difficulty grasping the complicated statistical formulas,” said
spokesperson Eric “Fuzzy” Numbers. “We needed to come up with an entertaining
way to promote the program. We were sitting around crunching incomprehensible
data one day, and we hit on the idea of a mascot. We were thinking along the
lines of Smokey the Bear or the San Diego Chicken. And so, VAM Moose was born. I
think we have really hit the jackpot with this one. At first we were going with
a ferret, but decided the moose was cuddlier. His motto is, “Raise those test
scores or VAM Moose!" Catchy, huh?
The VAM Moose and his motto will be featured in public
service announcements, billboards and internet pop-ups promoting value added
assessment of teacher performance. Asked about the long series of reports from
respected organizations like ETS, the Educational Policy Institute and the Rand
Corporation calling into question the use of VAMs for any high stakes
decisions, Mr. Numbers said, “That’s why we need the moose. We need to turn
around the conversation and facts won’t help us. Nothing like a soft and cuddly
mascot to sell a flawed product. Look what Tony the Tiger did for Frosted
Flakes.”
In a related story, Walmart has announced it is launching a
line of stuffed talking VAM Moose dolls to go on sale in time for the Christmas
season. The cute and cuddly item, manufactured in Guatemala, will have a pull
string that when activated has the moose say, “No excuses! No excuses!”
* For the uninitiated, VAMs are statistical models that use
student scores on standardized tests to mis-measure teacher effectiveness. They
have been very popular with education reformy types. For a fuller, and more
sober analysis of this flawed tool please see the following.
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